Shéa MacLeod is an indie author who doesn’t need to be told to spend most of her time writing. She published the first of the Sunwalker Saga urban fantasy series – Kissed By Darkness – in July, and has already released the sequel Kissed By Fire.
Not one to rest on her laurels, she is already preparing the final book in the trilogy for release while simultaneously writing two further books.
She is taking time out of her frenetic schedule today to tell us all to stop worrying – apparently writers are particularly well equipped to handle the impending zombie apocalypse .
First off, I want to thank Dave for allowing me to play a small part in his plans for World Domination. I feel honored. Like I just got invited to go on Oprah. Or something.
Today I want to share with you the many reasons I believe that writers are the best equipped to survive the impending zombie apocalypse.
Yeah, I hear some of you snickering into your beer over there. They laughed at Noah, too. And you know how that turned out. Worst family reunion EVER.
But seriously, folks, we writer types are uniquely designed to survive the end of the world. Here’s why:
1. Writers have an inborn survival instinct.
Everyone knows that the key to surviving any apocalypse is to live through the first wave. And honestly, who better than a writer to survive the first wave of zombie attacks? While the rest of the world is running around screaming like morons and getting eaten by their neighbors, we writers will be sitting in our garrets oblivious to the fact that the world just ended.
In fact, the zombies won’t even know we’re there as the screams of our fellow humans will drown out the sound of pounding keyboards. Safe behind closed doors in darkened rooms across the globe, writers everywhere will emerge from their offices and wonder… WTF!?
2. Writers are prepared for any situation.
What writer worth his (or her) salt does not keep Kindles and laptops fully charged at all times? And which one of us does not have a towering stash of diet coke and cheese doodles (or other beverage and snack of choice) somewhere close by? Say, under the bed or tucked in back of the closet.
And with the shelf life of Twinkies at something like 100 years, we’ll NEVER run out of food. No need to run to the local shops for soup and wind up zombified.
3. Writers know how to approach disaster creatively.
While we may initially cower under our beds, in general writers are incredibly creative thinkers. When the cards are on the table and the house is surrounded by friends and neighbors hungry for our brains, we can think on our feet. We will ask ourselves, “What would Buffy do?”
And then we’ll get the flame thrower from under the bed and blast the suckers.
4. Writers always have a plan.
Let’s be honest now. Who among us does not have a plan in place should the worst happen (the worst being alien attack, zombie apocalypse or another outbreak of Black Death)? I know I do. If you’re anything like me (and if you’re a writer there are probably one or two similarities), you’ve thought long and hard about just exactly what you will do the minute those mutant chimpanzees break out of the local lab.
It’s not just a random “head for the hills” either. There will be a specific place to go and a specific way to get there. There will be specific items which need to be gathered for both immediate and long-term survival. And there will be particular individuals to be gathered. Like Navy SEALS and survivalists from Idaho. Writers are smart enough to know they can’t do everything themselves. Plus there’s nothing like having a man in uniform around to kick some zombie ass when necessary.
So, really, there’s no need to worry my fellow writers. When the world ends in 2012, we’ll still be here to write about it, Twinkie in one hand and flame thrower in the other.
Thanks to Shéa for calming my nerves about the impending zombie apocalypse. You can read more from her at her blog, Everything’s Better With Dragons.
By the time you have read both of those, she will probably have another three books out!
Note: This post was scheduled to run while I am on vacation. I’m most likely at some bacchanalian soiree and unable to join in the comment fun, but please be my guest.